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NICE MONTH

by:Pox

2013/04/01

This experiment is ovarrr:

So apparently I'm negative and pessimistic. I call this being a realist but most other people don't like that or don't want to deal with some annoying douche always correcting them on everything. Realist people, while possessing the most fair assessment of their actual capabilities, physical attractiveness etc. also tend to be more depressed and not do as well. It's not hard to figure out since many aspects of life and society reward risk-taking. For instance, why wouldn't you apply for jobs you are obviously not qualified for? The worst that can happen is you don't get it. This means that cocksure idiots inevitably end up getting better everythings than people with less self-esteem, because eventually their carpet-bombing demands of things they don't deserve yields results.

There are downsides to optimism however. Optimistic people are more likely to overevaluate their capabilities. These are the people who think they drive well but are constantly involved in car accidents. These are the incompetent Michael Scott types who manage things they shouldn't because other people perceive optimism and self-confidence as a positive trait when in fact it's most associated with everything negative like stupidity, incompetence, douchness and higher risk-taking.

This is a spinoff of the Donning-Krueger effect, which is a phenomenon whereby competent people constantly assess their skills as less than they really are and incompetent people constantly over evaluating their abilities. This is what is known as "optimism".

Optimism

Higher self-esteem alone is useless for a society. A famous example is that of the American school system which focused on making the kids feel good about themselves instead of teaching them math. The result is that the kids suck balls when it's time to take tests but rate their abilities as above average. On the other side of the world, you have a bunch of self-loathing Asians who also happen to be first in the world at math and killing themselves out of shame.

However, optimistic people are happier, wealthier, more successful etc. Some are lucky enough to be born that way or taught it while young while others, like me, are not. There are several techniques to become more optimistic. Could there be a balance between Asia's extreme work and results-oriented society and America's feel-good jackass-promoting self-esteem cult? I tend to think so as some of the most talented and successful people I know are pretty optimistic. To be fair, maybe everyone would be happy too if they had everything they wanted. Or maybe they smile a lot but then cry at night in their mansion with their beautiful families, six pack abs and rocket boots. Still, might as well give it a shot!

LET'S BEGIN!

YOU CAN ASSESS YOUR BASIC OPTMISM LEVEL HERE

Damn I thought I was doing well too. To be fair most of these questions seem to be random or could easily go both ways. So maybe I did worse? Bah. Fuck you test. Who the hell would pick "I chose the right numbers" for winning the lottery? Are there really people THAT stupid living on this planet?

Well anyway, here's what I will do (or try to do) for one entire month:

- I will not argue with anyone.

Either in person or online. Whether they are right or wrong. I will ignore them or do what they want.

- No complaining

Thefreedictionary.com defines "complaint" as "An expression of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment." So if I am ever unhappy about anything, I will not say or do anything about it.

- The Gratitude Attitude

From Richard Wiseman's Book. It basically amounts to keeping a happiness diary of sorts, buying experiences instead of things and making an effort to smile and act happy for a set period each day. Go read it!

- Learned Optimism

From Seligman's book Learned Optimism which seems mostly centered around blaming everyone but yourself for anything that happens. I can definitely see how that would make you happy! You can see an outline of the book here. When bad things happen, just put them out of your mind right away, don't think about them and don't view them as long-lasting, permanent or unchangeable. Warning: May not work if you have terminal cancer.

- Stop insulting people

Awe.

- No more swearing

Did you know that using swear words actually helps you cope with pain and frustration? But that the effect of this diminishes the more casually you use them? So in the event that you stubbed your toe against the bedpost in the dark of night, there will be nothing you can yell out to help if you go around cussing all day long. FASCINATING! Is that potential upside worth the downside of not getting to call Bill O'Reily a fucking idiot whenever you want? WE SHALL SEE!

- This...thing

How to be nice to people in 16 steps

Wow this guy is a mega-weiner.. Sure am glad I haven't started yet or I couldn't point that out!

- Won't get down on myself.

No self-depreciating humor, no rejecting of compliments or reminding others that no matter how good I can be at something, there's someone better. EVEN IF IT'S TOTALLY TRUE.

Alright that should be.. more than enough things. You are welcome to try this as well, see if you feel happier after a month! In case you're afraid of doing this because you think that "venting" is a way to keep mental balance, fear not, as that is a bullshit pop psychology myth. All that expressing your anger does is make you more and more angry and violent over time. You think those drunk 1920s dads stopped beating their kids with belt buckles after they did it a couple times? Hell no.

The only way to get rid of bad habits and feelings is to stop them, not to occasionally partake in them.

So take that advice, chew on it, digest it a little and apply it to your life. You won't be less angry and bitter by expressing your anger and your bitterness. Just erase it and hide it or replace it with this insane experiment! WOOOEEE!

I have put a .txt and a .odf file up for you to download and print:

.txt
.odt
(opens with http://www.openoffice.org/download/)