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10 Deals I'm Going to Pass On

by:Pox

2012/03/21

Unless you're living under a rock, you've probably heard of Groupon by now. The premise is simple: Each day you get a deal from retailers near you ( usually 50% off) and if enough people go for it then the DEAL IS ON! Groupon is not the only site of its kind; There's dozens of them offering you a deal every day and you can use deal aggregators like DailyDealZone to find them all in your area!

Of course, all the deals are for nonsense YOU WILL NEVER EVER NEED. If you're into that kind of thing, I offer 90% off for the chance to come to my house and touch my balls. That's right, for only 10$, some of my greatness will rub off on your hands!

Look at this crap

1.

I hope the people who bought this realize that the actual value is about 20 cents. This is also the first time I've ever heard the term "Dangle". No one should ever be wearing a "Dangle" in public.

2.

As featured on Dr. Oz? Can anyone take away his medical license now? I'm pretty sure if a pilot crashes his 747 into a building he'll get in at least SOME amount of trouble... Oh well, 11 people bought this, that means 11 people are now 45$ closer to the absolute poverty they so sorely deserve and apparently pursue vehemently.

3.

I don't know what any of those things are, therefore they must be bullshit. Infrared sauna? The only thing an infrared anything should be doing is cooking bacon. That fish foot exfoliation sounds awesome though, I'm sure women want nothing more than to put their feet in a pond and have slimy fish nibble on them. If I went I'd make sure not to wash my feet for as long as possible to see if I can kill one or two of them.

4.

Nothing conjures up images of winners like the words "Magic" and "Herbal". They claim this is normally worth 450$...Wow give me half that amount and I'll shame you into losing so much weight that you can be the "thin one" when you become one of the Olsen triplets."

5.

Why would I want a deal on organic fair-trade food? We already know the entire point of this scammy nonsense is to hike your grocery bill up as far as possible to show how much you care about animals and starving Costa Ricans.

6.

I'm fairly sure that plant is some common weed that grows on the side of every highway during the summer. You want the benefits of plants and orange peels? Well just go eat a bunch of weeds and then buy yourself a frickin orange.

7.

Granted I am not an esteemed business guru but it seems to me that a "Business Coaching Session" is the same thing as those books that tell you how to get rich and/or win at slot machines.

8.

Ok so 25$ for 18 classes...that's a buck forty per class. This is an example of a deal that is A LITTLE TOO GOOD. I'm pretty sure if I went to this I'd find an old lady alone in her apartment desperate to meet friends and relive her glorious salsa youth. Also, a 210$ value? Is dancing so addictive that they're just hoping you'll pay 10 times as much once your deal is done? Or is this a ploy to get your personnal information and collect "protection" money from you?

9.

LOL IDIOTS

10.

That sounds like a terrible idea for an online game... Also, how can there be LIMITED QUANTITIES of this??? I'm sure there is a theoretical limit given the number of computers currently in existence but it may or may not be about 30 orders of magnitude above the population of the earth.

AND THERE'S SO MANY MORE! I've yet to see a deal that made me think "Yes, I need this". The moral of this story si that people don't give deals on things that people need because when you need something you'll actually pay for it...yeah...

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