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Shut Up About the KFC Double-Down

by:Pox

2010/04/22

I know I'm talking about the meat wad right now so I'm just being an hypocritical douche, but I'm just sick of hearing people ramble on about how bad the double-down is and how it's a new low in fast food.

Behold:

First off, you'll find plenty of websites like this one where some verbose pansy orders the sandwich and makes a huge drama about how GROSS and INHUMAN it is. Cut the crap fairy-boy, we all love what's in there: cheese, fried meat, mayo and bacon. Those are some of the pillars of the American diet.

Second it's basically a chicken sandwich but with a piece of chicken replacing two slices of bread. In case you weren't aware, the bread they use for fast food hamburgers is the nutritional equivalent of Pepsi. At least now you have more proteins!

The main comment about the thing is how small it is. People really wanted it to be EXTRA DISGUSTING but when they finally get one between their sausage fingers, their fat fuck instinct kicks in and they go "that's IT??\' as if it was the first time a fast food ad lied to them.

But how bad is it, really?

The official claim by KFC is that their burger contains 540 calories. However, this guy thinks it actually contains 1190. 540 seems a little low but given the size of that burger, 600-700 wouldn't surprise me. Plus it's not like KFC wouldn't just send the stupid thing to a lab to get the actual values. Anyway the double-down is a LIGHTWEIGHT when compared with the kinds of crap you'd eat at a normal restaurant on a typical outing. I've made this handy chart that lets you know just how much of a fat-ass you'll become if you like to eat out a lot!

*data according to the company's websites.

KFC's Vegetarian Sandwich	560	29
Subway's Chicken Bacon Ranch 6 inch Sub	570	28
2 Slices of a medium Meat Lovers Pizza Hut pizza	660	36
KFC's Wrap Star	670	33
Burger King's Whopper	670	40
McDonald's Mighty Caesar Salad With Warm Crispy Chicken and Ranch Dressing	670	52
McDonald's Angus Burger with Bacon and Cheddar ( It's worse than the double Bic Mac )	770	45
Taco Bell's Fiesta Taco Salad	850	45
Arby's Ultimate BLT sandwich	850	46
Olive Garden's White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake	890	62
Jack-In-The-Box's Sirloin Cheeseburger	897	60
Burger King's A.1 Steakhouse XT Burger	970	61
Olive Garden's Fetuccinne Alfredo	1220	75
Wendy's Triple Baconator	1350	90

Keep in mind that if you get your coke and your fries, you pretty much add 500-600 calories right there. At least drink diet coke for fuck's sake, it has 0 calories instead of 250-300. Would you rather walk for 2 hours or endure the harsh chemically taste of a diet beverage while you eat your cheese and bread wad?

Anyway shut up about the double-down already. It's not so bad.

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