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Halloween Blows by:Pox 2008/10/31 Halloween is stupid. And before you agree with me, think about this: what are some of the lowest, most pathetic activities on earth? - Anime cosplayers - Furries - Clowns - People who dress up like wizards to play Dungeons and Dragons in the woods. Note: you may dress like a knight any time if you intend to joust for people's entertainment. But one day per year, suddenly, it's cool? We're encouraged to partake in something that 99,99% of people would qualify as the "epitome of losing at life"? The entire point of Halloween wasn't the costumes. Those were just an excuse. The point was TO EAT CANDY.You can remove all the decorations, all the costumes, the songs, the stupid movie specials -- ditch all that crap and just drop a giant bag of candy in front of kids once per year and they won't know the difference. So I say: fuck it, merge Halloween with Christmas. I shall call it Christmalloween What's going to be different? During Christmalloween, you get candy with every gift. And not chocolates or candy canes. If you offer your wife a diamond necklace, it better have a bite-size Snickers, Pop Rocks and Skittles. Changes in the allowed Christmas movies list: Only these movies will be allowed on tv: The Nightmare Before Christmas Beetlejuice- It's festive Die Hard A Christmas Carol- Has Ghosts Jingle All the Way- Very scary Jack Frost ( the horror one) Silent Night, Deadly Night Jesus Christ - Vampire Hunter -It's his birthday after all... Here Cumz Santa -After the kids leave.... A list of winners. The 1983 movie "A Christmas Story" is ESPECIALLY banned. Trick-or-Treating is abolished It's dangerous: many houses and pumpkins are vandalized. So my new idea: make the kids run around the house until they pass out in the cold. It'll be much easier to make them shut up until midnight. Unless they have frostbite, then you'll never heard the end of it. Stupid kids, it's always something with them.. Gifts come in pumpkins I'm tired of seeing hundreds of pumpkins go to waste every year. So that way you can just buy a pumpkin sized appropriately for your gift, hollow it out, put the gift in and fill in all empty spaces with candy. Then put the lid back on and boom, instant 100% biological gift box. YES List of allowed Christmalloween food Any candy/chips/chocolate ( mandatory ) Fruit cake has now only one fruit: candy The turkey has to be stuffed with pumpkin, or you can stuff a pumpkin with turkey. Only drinks allowed at the table are pop and egg nog with orange food colring. Cranberries become skittles or smarties. All sugar cookies with a christmas theme must feature blood. Everyone dresses up as Santa Claus Enough of this time and money wasted on costumes. There will be a government-issued one size fits all Santa uniform for everyone. Santa now looks like this: Follow My Stuff ( cause it's rad, and you are rad, therefore must do this): Related on Site: ONGOING CHALLENGE: INKTOBER: One inked drawing a day for october! Will post when done. COMPLETED CHALLENGES: June 2015 - Count Every Calorie Eaten 2013 - Facebook's 100 Foods Challenge (96/100) 2013 - WATCHING IMDB'S TOP 250 MOVIES 2011 - 3 DRINKS FOR A WHOLE YEAR 2009 - THE INSANE CALORIE LADDER RECENT DRAWING: ( CLICK ON IT TO ENLARGE) CLICK TO VIEW ALL DRAWINGS RECENT FUNNY: ( CLICK ON IT TO ENLARGE) CLICK TO VIEW ALL FUNNY IMAGES GAMES I'VE MADE: Soda Dungeon Free mobile game I made with Afro-Ninja! Itunes version. Super Rad Awesome Another Treasure Hunt game by Deathink using my Pixel Posters! Bionic Chainsaw Pogo Gorilla Big Free Online Game for Adult Swim! Spring Pixel Poster Hunt 3rd Pixel Hunt by Deathink using my Pixel Posters! Territory War Online 3 Game by Afro Ninja that I've Made a Bunch of Graphics For! Chocolate Run A game I made for St-Valentine's Day! Evolvo Way better / beefier version of Evolvo! Frozen Pixel Hunt NG User Deathink made this game with my Winter pixel poster! Evolvo Eat a Bunch of Fish. Goon: The Game Beat up hockey players and murder them violently. Abobo's Big Adventure The biggest and best Flash game on the internet. Insanity Box 2 30 mini games to crush you! View more Flash I hope they figure out a way to teach people how to read without teaching them how to write because I don't think the internet can handle much more of this blogging and user reviewing shit. I have lured Star Wars kids to my page. © Copyright 2008 YOURMOM All Rights Reserved.