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Pumpkin Muffins

by:Pox

2011/10/24

FUCK YOU, MUFFIN!

REALLY? MORE RECIPES? WITH PUMPKIN? SERIOUSLY, WE'RE DOING THIS AGAIN?

Yes. YES WE ARE. AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT. GO TO THE STORE, GET SOME CANNED PUMPKIN AND START MAKING SOME GOD DAMNED MUFFINS.

Now these are not as healthy at the pie and the cheesecake, because I figure you deserve a break! But in reality I am still tricking you into making healthy, sugarless, fatless food. MWAHAHAH

INGREDIENTS:

3 cups egg whites (about 24 egg whites)
1 cup raisins
1 1/3 cup golean
1 1/3 cup oats
2 cups pumpkin
1 cup splenda
2 tablespoon ground flax
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp allspice

MAKES 18 MUFFINS, EACH MUFFIN HAS 95 CALORIES AND 7 GRAMS OF PROTEIN

Luckily, this recipe does not require a blender! Well you could powder the oats and cereal for a less crunchy experience but Halloween is all about chunks, or so I have decided. Just grab a bowl, a spatula and a muffin mold and get to work!

First of all, combine the pumpkin, baking soda, baking powder and spices into a bowl.

Then mix it. This is to make sure your spices and baking crap are evenly divided in your batter. Then just pour the rest of the ingredients and MIX LIKE THE WIND.

The picture is because I think you don't know what mixing looks like.

And you should have something that looks like this:

Yes, I am aware of what it looks like.

Don't worry if it seems WAY WAY too liquid to make anything other than a cereal milkshake. These egg white based cakes harden up when cooked, if only ever so slighlty...

Anyway, get your muffin molds out and pour about 1/3 of a cup of mix into each one. This makes 18 muffins.

Shove this garbage in the oven at 350f for 30 minutes.

Then take them out, unmold them and let em' cool.

Just let them... cool down now...

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AND NOW, SLAY YOUR MUFFINS!!!

YOUR SOUL IS MINE!

We've having a lot of fun this October! While other people are spending 50 hours and 10 times as many dollars on their BorgPirateNinjaTransformer costume, we're eating healthy food and getting stronger for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. You'll feel pretty stupid with your nice expensive cumbersome costume when the brain munchers come and I leave you in the dust because I AM FUELED BY MUFFINS.

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