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Typical People Around the Office

by:Pox

2009/01/19

If you're like me and maybe have worked in an office in the past, then you'll go "HA TOTALLY!" many times while reading this! The office sure is a place full of wacky characters!

1. ALWAYS SLIGHTLY EARLY TO WORK GUY

Hey, so.. hey... you know that guy right? He's, like, always 10 minutes early to work! Ha what a goof. Work starts at 8, but BOOM he's there at 7:50. What? Know how to read a clock, guy? HA! Silly.

GOOD WORK, CHAMP! OR MORE LIKE: WORK YOU WON'T GET PAID FOR BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO EARLY! ZING!

2. IRONIC 80'S GUY

He's living like it's 2002, which was a time where we lived like it was 2002 but we wore Optimus Prime belts. Every office has that guy, with the Ghostbusters lunchbox, the TMNT shirt, the G.I.Joe tie and an entire line of Jem and the Holograms collectible action figures populating their desktop. YOU'RE SO CRAZY HAAAAA.

HEY LIKE, GO WORK AT..LIKE...HASBRO OR SOMETHING LOLOL

3. IRONIC 90'S GUY

He's living like it's 2013, which will be a time when we'll wear stuff from the 90's to strike up conversations with fellow nerds. Power Rangers shirt, Reboot pins and a giant poster of Captain Planet in his cubicle is how this man rolls. If you pass too close to the conversational event horizon of his chair, he'll suck you into a conversation about Kurt Kobain ( opening with a Lewinsky joke ) as he tries to drag you into a Seinfeld / Xena marathon lasting the entire weekend at his place. What's for dinner? Combos, Mountain Dew and Cheetos.

Radical.

4. Generally Ironic Guy

Whenever he does something, it's because it'r ironic. Ties? Ha totally ironic. I'm dressing like an office worker as a joke. I GET IT.

It's so funny that it stops being funny which makes it funny again.

5. The "Hey Yaaaaaaaaaah" Guy

Every office has a guy who constantly sings Outkast's "HEY YA" song.

6. Morbidly Obese Ex-Marine

Man was I tired of them after my 5th office job! Every office has this guy, rolling about in his cart and telling tales of the Gulf War to whoever wants to hear them.

It's so funny that it stops being funny which makes it funny again.

7. Ironic Hamburgler Impersonator

Yeah, that's really original, dipshit. It was funny at first, but I think we've all grown tired of them. Whenever you bring any kind of sandwich for lunch they steal it "as a joke" and you have to ask for it back as you roll your eyes. So lame, right?

I know you know what I'm talking about.

8. Guy Imitating an Ovinoraptor

He always brings a fresh dose of spunk to every workplace! When you have a heavy case of the mondays, you can count on this guy to wow you with his impression of an ancient egg-robbing creature believed to be one of the first feathered dinosaurs.

HELL YEAH BRING IT ON!

9.Elephant-Riding Batman Cosplayer

Who here hasn't thrown away a pair of shoes after stepping in a pile of elephant shit on their way to the coffee machine?