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Ban Photoshopping on Magazine Covers eh?

by:Pox

2012/10/16

In case you weren't aware, there is currently a war on photoshopping in magazines. Fat soccer moms have decided that the impossible standards of beauty depicted by models in magazines have been pushed too far because of how easy it is to photoshop anyone's face to make it look like God's boobs. Seriously, look at these insane talks of bans.

Jo Swinson is a name that comes back over and over again in these. She's the typical liberal lawmaker you hate: Wants to be up in your face every second of the day trying to correct for people's inherent stupidity through legislation. While I agree that people are usually too stupid and weak to put down the tubs of lard and accept that doing one crunch every 30 days won't turn them into Thor, I think the rest of us who are awesome should still get to enjoy our 26 pound gummy bears and Nutella.

This is her:

When she's not making herself hated by children everywhere by scolding Easter egg packaging, she's apparently involved mostly in the eating of Scottish foods and jogging lightly once a decade to convince everyone that it's scientifically possible to be overweight and not on the verge of death in your 20s. AMAZING. But given all this fuss, she is clearly not against makeup or selecting favorable pictures of herself for political purposes:

Compare that picture of her with the other ones and this video:

The difference between her actual appearance and that picture up there is larger than any Photoshop enhancement on any magazine cover. Sounds mean? Though shit. Image varies. People on magazines already set an impossible standard simply by virtue of their genetics. As far back as men have been in charge of sculping women's boobs out of marble, they've picked idealized versions of them. There's no cellulite on the Venus. Let's burn it, right?

Jo, you just can't push for this kind of stuff if you aren't part of the industry because then you come across as a bitter feminazi out to level the field by pulling others down instead of working to better yourself.

If you want to be a nazi, you have to be like Meme Roth. She's a regular Fox News contributor who constantly harps on fat people and tries to make their life hell by taking away all their candy and dump truck sized sugar drinks. This is what she looks like:

Here she is yelling at fat people:

I think I love her.

People like Jo Swinson constantly try to pass the message that everyone is beautiful and equal simply by virtue of being born. They feel that the way to end inequality lies in legislation No. People are stupid and will continue to be stupid. If you are a girl and you jeopardize your health to go from 10% body fat to 8%, you have no one to blame but yourself for your ignorance. Society lies to us about everything; How to be rich, how to succeed, how to find love etc. There's more lies in one typical self-help book than in the collective bras of the Playboy bunnies.

This brings me to...

The beauty standard for men is MUCH HIGHER than for women. To look like this guy, not only do you have to be born handsome and tall but you have to train hours every week, eat a very strict diet and take a bunch of drugs and supplements. What do women have to do to be equally attractive? Maintain a normal body weight. That's it.

Studies show that taller men do far better with women. This simple fact tells us that women are infinitely more shallow and superficial than men. If you're a guy and you're not tall, what the fuck are you supposed to do? Nothing. Yet women like Jo complain instantly the second a woman with too much makeup and good lighting makes the cover of a magazine? Shut up, any girl can wear makeup, it takes 20 minutes to put on. You try growing 5 inches, gaining 50 pounds of muscle and cutting down to 7% body fat instead. I bet you that in her own private bed, Jo's not fantasizing about a doughy pasty-faced nerd playing WoW in his underwear. Way to set up an impossible standard for your husband, since fantasy is what everyone clearly will compare their lives to 24/7. In fact I almost killed myself because I haven't ridden any dragons in my life and my time machines just never pan out. DAMN MOVIES PROMOTING IMPOSSIBLE THINGS THAT WE LIKE TO IMAGINE ARE ATTAINABLE EITHER THROUGH OUR OWN MISGUIDED OPTIMISM OR IGNORANCE!!

Where does it end?

I mean really. Who gives a fuck? Should only asian women be on the cover of magazines now, since most women are asian? No man over the worldwide average height should be idolized? Maybe we should ban comics too:

Well maybe SOME comics...

I'm sick of people who are below average trying to lower the standards for everything just so they can feel better about their mediocrity. Hey, Jo, get off your ass and work out then maybe you'll feel better about yourself and if it so happens that men don't want to be with you because they don't like the way you look, well TOUGH SHIT. Her entire campaign is based around the idea that girls are doing dangerous things to themselves in order to look good. Sorry but that's called natural selection. If you're a girl and you're young and thin, every guy already wants to fuck you, no matter how big Angelina Jolie's tits get due to Photoshopping. That's the real thing feminazis should tell girls: Guys want to be with you ANYWAY, stop destroying your health like a lazy idiot because you think losing 2 more pounds will make someone who puts his dick into couch cushions and Anime-shaped pillows want you more.

The main point here is... educate people so as to not make them idiots and let private companies do whatever nonsense they want as far as selling people chocolate or the idea that giant plastic tits are desirable.

Well I did my part! Haha.

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