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Seinfeld drinking game

by:Pox

2008/12/18

I've probably seen every episode 4-5 times by now and believe me when I tell you this would fuck you right up.

Multiple episodes: One huge gulp of beer per instance
Single episode: One beer per instance

Note that "They" refers to either George, Elaine, Kramer or Jerry.

-Every time someone gets "injured".
Every other episode, they lightly bump their knee on some table corner or they fumble a pillow and it lands on their foot and the next thing you know, they're stuck with some chronic ailment or some horrible sprain.
Like in the episode "The Comeback", Kramer gets put in the hospital after getting hit by TENNIS BALLS. Is his skull made entirely of soft spots like on the back of baby's heads???

You unbelievable pussy

-Every time George or Jerry gets with a hot woman
George has as many dates as Jerry and with women just as attractive. The show makes him out to be someone who has NOTHING going for him. Fat, bald, poor, liar, selfish... what gives? It's that easy, huh?
Here's a couple of the women who dated George:

That's about what he dates in half a season of the show.

-Every time a character runs into someone they know on the street by accident
I know you have to put some coincidences in tv shows but... holy shit. In the span of one episode, they'll usually run into each other randomly on the streets about 3-4 times. In NEW YORK CITY.
Like in the episode "The Bottle Deposit" where Jerry's mechanic steals his car and manages to drive it exactly in front of Kramer and Newman, driving a mail truck, 2-3 states away.

-Every time they go out at a place other than the coffee shop.
Every episode they seem to talk about a new person they met at the gym, or the movies or the art class or the ball games. These people go out way too much. Seems like every week, they attend 2-3 classes / gym sessions and then catch a movie and go out for a vacation in the Hamptons.

-Any time a character is in the hospital or goes to see a health professional
For every minor injury, every rash and every tiny indigestion, they have to waste a trip to the doctor. And the dentist. They can't get enough of those dentist appointments.
Like in the episode "The Package" where Elaine calls every doctor in the city just so they can check a little itch on her arm. Thanks for driving up the cost of healthcare, bitch.

-Every time Kramer buys something stupid/ is involved in a money-related scheme
How much does rent cost in NYC? Where the hell is that guy getting his money? He's smoking cuban cigars, buying hot tubs and attending baseball fantasy camps but he hasn't worked in 10 years? Pfff.

Living the high life.

-Every time someone mentions a restaurant and another characters knows the place.
It's crazy, they seem to know of every last place to get food in the city and every item on the menu. Every episode where they mention take-out, it seems one of the other characters has some story about the place or knows about something on the menu.

- Every time Jerry breaks up with a girl
What's wrong with him? Shouldn't he just resort to prostitution at this point? Every week he hooks up with some unbelievably hot, passive woman and he finds some stupid reason to break up with her, like maybe her elbows are too pointy or she has slightly crooked eyebrows. What's in it for him? Why does he keep seeing women? He doesn't seem to care for the sex that much, there's an episode with a chick who walks alone naked in his apartment and he's still bitching. There's an episode where he's having wild sex with a hottie and he's mainly focused on playing with her collection of vintage G.I. Joes. He should just become a Mormon and form his own harem instead of fucking up people's lives.

-Every time George or Jerry argue with their parents or their parents do something weird related to their senility
Apparently the message in Seinfeld is that if you get along with your parents, you're insane. Jerry and George HATE them with a PASSION. There's an episode where George considers what the best option is: them moving to Florida forever or them staying in NYC so they die 10 years sooner and he can cash in. Every time their parents visit, they flip out and do everything they can think of to get away.And when they DO come by they always find some way to act stupid.

Every time they lie
And concealing the truth counts. Get ready to puke your brains out.On the average show, every character tells at least one lie.

Every time George starts yelling
And make it easy on yourself: wait until he really yells out loud, because he's always kind of talking loudly.

Every time Elaine or George screw something up at work or get in trouble with their boss
No idea how these people hold down jobs. In fact I don't even know what they do. Every episode they seem to mostly make calls from their office and go on lunch breaks.

So to recap:

- Whenever a character gets injured
- Every time George gets with a hot woman
- Every time a character runs into someone they know on the street or wherever by chance
- Every time they go out to a place other than the coffee shop ( movies, restaurents,gyms )
- Any time someone goes to the doctor/hospital
- Any time Kramer buys something stupid / starts a money-making scheme
- Whenever someone mentions a restaurant one of the other characters knows about
- Whenever Jerry breaks up with a woman
- Any time George / Jerry try to avoid their parents
- Whenever they lie
- Every time George or Elaine screw up at work
- Every time George starts yelling

Next time you see a rerun, at least try to remember this list and count how many beers you would have had. Trust me, you won't even be able to drink fast enough to keep up with them.

BONUS DRINKING FUN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE:
Drink a beer every time you spot an actor who was on Seinfeld while you're watching a movie or a tv show.For example: did you know that the guy who plays Babu is in Austin Powers?