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Are your eyes hurting yet? by:Pox 2011/10/13 I've been listening to a lot of music recently FOR SOME REASON and I thought I would combine a helpful list of what sucks and what doesn't for all potential recording artists out there! THINGS THAT RULES IN SONGS: - Back Vocals. - Keyboards. - Badass electric guitar riffs. - A guy repeating the title of the song over and over. - A catchy chorus that is repeated at least 3 times. AT LEAST. - Auto-tuning. - Video game sound effects. - Hot women singing ( preferably wearing shoulderpads or leather jackets. I can hear the difference. Or leather pads... THINGS THAT SUCK BALLS IN SONGS: - Really fast drumming using a double pedal. - Rap. - Stealing a good song and adding your shitty rap to it. - Stealing a good song but adding 1 minute of techno beats to the start and to the end. - Making a song over 6 minutes. Chances are you didn't write Stairway to Heaven, so spare us. - High-pitched noises. - Screeching. - Being "experimental". - A story before the song starts. I don't want to hear your porno actor level drama that explains why there suddenly is music playing out of nowhere while people are dancing in a futuristic meat packing plant. - A long "intro" part before the "good" part. - Just using one instrument. - The voices of children. - Using one weird instrument. Bagpipes and didgeridoos should not leave their respective countries. - Having the word "mix" in the title. 99% chance of failure. - Growling. As it turns out, the musical equivalent of "funny" is not "great to listen to". THINGS THAT DON'T MATTER: - Lyrics. This can't be overstated. - World-class playing of instruments. I can't tell the difference because, as it turns out, I have better things to do than studying guitar for 10 years only to double-realize that finger-melting solos impress no one and don't sound particularly good anyway. - How popular something is. Grow up, tools. - A song being groundbreaking for its time. Until I see you riding a Model T on the Appian way to your job at the catapult factory, I will keep insisting that being original and new doesn't make anything good. Until you start going to the toilet in this: You have no reason to listen to this: Hopefully you agree with me, otherwise I have to kill you and frankly it's getting to be kind of a chore and you're not worth it. Follow My Stuff ( cause it's rad, and you are rad, therefore must do this): Related on Site: ONGOING CHALLENGE: INKTOBER: One inked drawing a day for october! Will post when done. COMPLETED CHALLENGES: June 2015 - Count Every Calorie Eaten 2013 - Facebook's 100 Foods Challenge (96/100) 2013 - WATCHING IMDB'S TOP 250 MOVIES 2011 - 3 DRINKS FOR A WHOLE YEAR 2009 - THE INSANE CALORIE LADDER RECENT DRAWING: ( CLICK ON IT TO ENLARGE) CLICK TO VIEW ALL DRAWINGS RECENT FUNNY: ( CLICK ON IT TO ENLARGE) CLICK TO VIEW ALL FUNNY IMAGES GAMES I'VE MADE: Soda Dungeon Free mobile game I made with Afro-Ninja! Itunes version. Super Rad Awesome Another Treasure Hunt game by Deathink using my Pixel Posters! Bionic Chainsaw Pogo Gorilla Big Free Online Game for Adult Swim! Spring Pixel Poster Hunt 3rd Pixel Hunt by Deathink using my Pixel Posters! Territory War Online 3 Game by Afro Ninja that I've Made a Bunch of Graphics For! Chocolate Run A game I made for St-Valentine's Day! Evolvo Way better / beefier version of Evolvo! Frozen Pixel Hunt NG User Deathink made this game with my Winter pixel poster! Evolvo Eat a Bunch of Fish. Goon: The Game Beat up hockey players and murder them violently. Abobo's Big Adventure The biggest and best Flash game on the internet. Insanity Box 2 30 mini games to crush you! View more Flash Every day, I pray that God doesn't exist. I have lured child workers to my page. © Copyright 2008 Maddox All Rights Reserved.