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by:Pox

2009/02/14

LOCAL

Valentine's Day 2009
Area Hack Copies TheOnion.com

FEBRUARY 14, 2009 | ISSUE 1

MONTREAL, QC� French-Canadian self-proclaimed web "master" -PoX- � who created a dubious comedic web page last year� has stooped to a new low today by outright copying popular comedy website TheOnion.com

"Yeah so what?" proclaimed the dirty bastard as he typed away on his keyboard, writing a parody piece for his page that imitates not only the content but also the layout of any article you would find on TheOnion.com

For years, TheOnion has entertained America with its fake news stories ridiculing everything from homosexuals and NASA to obesity and presidents. Usually well-written and without spelling mistaikes, the mockticles have become famous around the internet and have even spawned a straight-to-DVD movie that did quite well in the few Wal-Mart bargain bins which featured it.

"I don't know what he was thinking", remarked made-up Onion staffer. "Who does he think he's fooling anyway? The article doesn't even have its own page! It's just like everything else he put on his site, except for this tiny section in the middle where he copied the layout from our site! Ridiculous!"

While no one actually reads his website, -PoX- updates his monstruosity approximately once per week in a vain attempt at achieving some semblance of internet fame, a goal which Frank Rimsky, night janitor at a failing truck stop, calls "Pathetic".

Prior to this daring act of intellectual vandalism, the miscreant's most notable deeds included eating a paltry 6 1/2 McDonald's Hamburgers and making a list of 500 songs he seems to think people want to hear. No dbout he made his feeble attempt at parroting the more respected humor site in the hope of lulling reader's sense of criticism to a gentle sleep while shoving his rancid tripe down their throats.

"What are you talking about? No one from TheOnion is ever going to read this shit!" said the thief, trying to defend his shameful deception."Seriously, I'm making everything up. It's not like someone is actually interviewing me to write an article."
Wether or not this explanation will hold up in court remains to be seen.

Perhaps one reason why oldpoxbox.com has not had any success and thus has forced the owner to take such a risk is because it is composed of hastily assembled material permeated by the lazyness and the incompetence of their creator. Take this page for example. You will notice that every link that is normally clickable on TheOnion.com has been replaced with cheap screenshots thrown together in a minute or two using a copy of Photoshop which may or may not be legal.

"How can you know that? The article isn't even up yet! I'm still writing it! Wait this is starting to get weird..."

Branching into some sort of snobby post-modernism, -PoX- hopes to confuse duller readers just long enough to make his escape on a bramble raft on which he'll attempt to cross the St-Lawrence river to reach what he thinks is Portugal.